My child no longer wants to go to school: what should I do?

At any age, many causes can cause the your child’s temporary refusal to go to school. He or she may suddenly feel anxious at the idea of ​​divorcing his or her parents, disliking his or her teacher, lack of self-confidence… It is up to us parents to listen and show patience, to to encourage him to go there, without running the risk of missing out on a deeper malaise, especially bullying at school and/or school phobia.

Is your child struggling with the separation of the family cocoon?

He feels lost. He feels like you’re putting him in school to get rid of him. He takes it badly, especially if you stay at home with his brother or sister. On the other hand, he feels guilty for leaving him at school all day, and this reinforces his sense of abandonment. This feeling can worsen if you have just moved, for example. Maybe he’s also afraid that something bad will happen to his parents while he’s gone? Whether this fear is justified (illness or recent accident…) or not, you need to reassure your toddler quickly!

Give him directions. Avoid putting it down too soon in the morning. Take him through his class, give him time to show you his drawings and sit down comfortably. Tell him about his day: when he goes to recess, where he eats, who picks him up in the evening and what we will do together. If possible, break or shorten his days for a while and ask someone to pick him up at the end of the morning so he doesn’t stay at school during meals and naps. It is essential for your child to verbalize his emotions and fears in order to better manage them!

Is your child disappointed in school?

Stress that is hard to bear. He was happy to enter the big leagues, he had bet a lot on this beautiful place where he thought he was doing extraordinary things… Maybe he already saw himself surrounded by a thousand friends? And there he becomes disillusioned: the days are long, he has to be good, respect the rules and participate in early learning activities if he wants to play with cars… He has a lot of trouble coping with the limitations of classroom life. And besides, you have to go there almost every day!

Appreciate school… without overdoing it. It is, of course, up to you to restore the image of the school by showing it all its good sides and how wonderful it is to learn. But nothing prevents you from sympathizing a little with his dismay: It is true that sometimes we find it long, we are tired and bored. Me too, when I was little it happened to me. But it will pass and you will soon see that every morning you will be very happy to find your friends. » Find one or two classmates and offer their parents, for example, a trip to the park at the end of the day to strengthen their bond. And above all, avoid criticizing the school or the mistress or the teacher!

My baby is being bullied at school. Watch out, I want to bite!

Does your child not feel like going to school?

Something happened. He made a mistake, the mistress or the master made a remark to him (even benign), a friend dropped him or made fun of him, he broke a glass at the table or peed his pants… During these first weeks of school At an age when self-esteem is built up, the slightest incident takes dramatic proportions. Overwhelmed by a sense of shame, he is sure that school is not for him, that he will never find his place there.

Let him talk and put things into perspective. You have to appeal to that sudden aversion to school, when everything was going well yesterday. You will have to gently insist that he agree to tell you what is bothering him. Once it’s open, don’t start laughing and say: But it’s nothing! “. For him, who has been through it, it is something serious. Try to reassure him instead: In the beginning it’s normal, we can’t do everything right, we’re here to learn… » Work with him to find a way to prevent the incident from happening again. And above all, tell him how proud you are to see him grow!

Whatever the reason for his refusal to go to school, if the situation persists, cooperate with the school environment and do not hesitate to consult a health professionalespecially if physical symptoms occur (abdominal pain, nausea, anxiety, crying, etc.).

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